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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in madeinkorea56's LiveJournal:

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    Tuesday, February 21st, 2006
    3:26 pm
    stolen from nicole cause she wanted me to post this...
    1.Your Full Name:

    2. Age:

    3. Favorite Color:

    4. Favorite Movie:

    5. Favorite Song:

    6. Favorite Band:

    7. Most Embarassing Moment:

    8. Are you a virgin?

    HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

    1. Are we friends?

    2. Do you have a crush on me/are you attracted to me?

    3. Would you kiss me?

    4. ...with tongue?

    5. Would you enjoy it?

    6. Would you ever ask me out or go out with me if I asked you?

    7. Would you make a move on me in a movie theater?

    8. Tell me one odd/intresting fact about you:

    9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?

    10. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before?

    11. If you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me?

    12. Do you/have you talk(ed) sh*t about me?

    13. Do you think I'm a good person?

    14. Would you let me sleep with you (in the same bed)?

    15.Do you think I'm hot?

    16. Would you call me 'just because'?

    17. Would you ever listen to my problems even if they don't involve you?

    18. If you could change anything about me, would you?

    19.Would you have sex with me?

    20.Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?

    21. Do you love me?

    22. Would you marry me? (if we're both the same sex, would you marry me in Massachusettes?)

    23. Have you ever lied to me (more than a ltitle white lie)?

    24. How would you react if I died tomorrow?

    25. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?
    Sunday, January 8th, 2006
    3:19 pm
    quiet corner of my mind...
    It's been a while, it's been a relatively long vacation. Chilly air swirls around my little fingers and toes as I type about this and that. 2005 was a year of learning for me. The upcoming semester/year should be overtly busy and controlled confusing, but in a good way. Not so sure that that made sense. Places that I'll be headed this year (hopefully)
    1. gorgia
    2. luisiana
    3. nebraska
    4. florida
    5. montreal (if i can manage that one...time will tell)
    Alot of traveling, and I'd love to do some of it abroad, but I don't see how I could afford that seeing as I will still have a year and a half of schooling left. I could have thrown China in there but I didn't have an extra $3000 to give to my voice instructor (he wanted me to travel with one of his choirs during the summer but I don't have the money or the time...I'm pretty sure I'll be back at Roger's this summer) Plus that stupid car accident I was in, I have to pay damages for that, and books for the upcoming semester and all those other nifty things that pop up when you're least expecting it. But such is life, take it and run with it.
    I've been sick for the past week and a half, due to this nasty cough that appeared and won't go away. The doctor's prescribed me a cough medicine with codine in it but it's not helping a whole lot other than tripping me out...and that's only because my little body isn't used to taking in chemicals because typically I refuse to take any kind of medication.
    I'm excited and slightly nervous for this upcoming semester. So much to do, so much riding on my junior recital. So many grad schools that I should start looking at. So many things to start deciding for my future which I'm not sure I'm ready for to come sweeping in as quickly as it is.
    All I know is this: I am me. I am a musician/composer. I am a mezzo soprano. I love my family and friends and would do anything for them when they ask. I plan on being everything when I grow up. I want to sing in all avenues of music. I want to record with a label, perform opera and broadway. I want to be happy with myself and who I'm with. I want to make a difference in the people's lives that I touch. Someday I want to have children. I want to be able to be the support for someone I love that they are for me. I want to take the time to appreciate the beauty of everything around me. I don't want to let oppertunities pass me by, and I want to be more than you ever thought I could be. "I'm impossible to forget..."...that's what I want to be. Utterly Remarkable.

    Current Mood: mellow
    Current Music: Ashey and Zack "All I want to be"
    Thursday, December 15th, 2005
    10:41 am
    Lethal combination...
    My little hands and feet are a smidgen chilly this morning. My fingers are content because they have been able to work out on guitar and piano lately. Alot of new material has been flowing from me lately, so I should get some good stuff recorded during Christmas break, provided I have the time. Alot of it is pretty upbeat, some mellow, some bittersweet and some just plain sweet. I'm trying to incorperate some more interesting chords and stuff...it's fun because I had worked so hard all semester on the musical (broadway music) and then preparing for my recital and jury (classical music) that I didn't really have a ton of time left over to devote to MY music. I missed being able to put my thoughts and feelings down in ink and sound. But you have to have priorities when it comes to your future, I'm not paying money at school to learn how to be a folk singer, I'm paying money to train as a classical vocalist/opera singer. And it's a strange and funny thing, because if you had asked me two years ago when I arrived here if what I wanted to do was sing with someplace like OperaNorth or the Met, I would have told you you were craazy. But your dreams can sometimes shift and become as real to you as the ones you once held dear. Classical training has made me ten times the folk singer I used to be. And it's not as if I'm abandoning my folk/rock/jazz/broadway roots, I like to look at it as more of a broadening my horizons of dreams.
    Shifting yourself to accomedate changes in all aspects of life can be difficult, or as easy, as you make it. People slide in and out of your life, some you hold onto, some you let go. Little things that bother you can seem so insignificant but bloom into a huge catastrophe if the situation is not monitored correctly, or if it is ignored. Sometimes, people's actions just cannot be forgiven, no matter how much they want you to forgive them; no matter how much you once wanted to forgive them. Some wounds run too deep to forget. I do not deal well with people who take a situation and throw a child's tantrum because they can't get their way. I used to put up with it, and ended up being miserable. Now that I know better, it's not how I operate. When someone needs you, you better damn well be there to support. I have learned alot this past week about who is family up here at school, and who isn't. Certain people are going to think this is about them, and it may or may not refer to them. But I've said it before, and I will say it again, because it is something that I live by...When you care about someone, reguardless how you know them and how they are connected to you, you go out of your way to NOT hurt them. Throwing tantrums and telling lies isn't going to make any situation easier, especially when it is a difficult situation. And that's all I have to say about that, because my message should be loud and clear.

    Inconsiderate and Insecure.
    Lethal Combination.

    Grow up, why don't you?

    Current Mood: all over the place...
    Current Music: Guster "Center of Attention"
    Monday, November 21st, 2005
    11:59 am
    come to me thanksgiving....
    It's 12:03 and I'm sitting at my little desk, smelling some of the absolutely gorgeous flowers I received from the show. Hercules is swimming around, checking out the flowers (occasionally getting really angry at them, but most of the time just chilling out). I'm full from brunch and thinking about how I get to drive home tomorrow :) These past few weeks have flown by so quickly it's hard to keep track of what happened when and who said what. The show had an amazing run, all the hard work that everyone put into it really showed. Steph and Nicole came up to see it and were really impressed (I was really psyched they liked the show so much) and a ton of my friends from school loved it also. My family (both sides) came up yesterday to see it and told me it was the best show (and performance) that I've given to this date so I was very touched about that. Soooo many people thought I was really pregnant, which I found hysterical. I'm ready for a break though, and Thanksgiving Break is just a day away. It'll be wonderful to relax at home and see my family, sleep in my bed (or perhaps the couch because my egg crates are doubly folded over on my bed at school so my bed at home isn't so comfy anymore), and eat real food. I can concentrate on my lesson pieces finally (in both piano and voice) and get a little caught up there. But really, I'm just looking forward to not having any major obligations for less than a week :) Oh yah, and the stuffing ;)

    This entry should be much longer....but I'm exhausted. So maybe next time :)

    Current Mood: exhausted
    Current Music: "Les berceaux" by Faure
    Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
    8:04 pm
    this or that......
    "Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes, five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear. Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes, how do you measure, measure a year?..."

    There are changing leaves, changing seasons, and change in my back pocket. (What a funny looking word change is when you think about it...) I'm a little older, a little wiser, and a little more cautious than I used to be. I don't mean cautious in the sense of 'Hey I'm gonna just skip across the road." cause I definately do that, I meant I just think about the impact of my actions a little more than I used to. This year I am at a very different place than I was last year. I'm more focused, a little more driven, because I can see the end of my undergraduate work and the horizon of what the future could be like. I know I still have a good year and a half here (thanks music major and theatre minor...) and two years of graduate work, but I need to start thinking of where I want to end up, what kind of jobs I want to do. As a performance major, it's unbelievably competative out there...you can't just be good to make it, you have to be extrordinary. Doing the bare minimum isn't going to get you far. As of right now, I have no ties to keep me in any certain area, so when I graduate I can go pretty much anywhere in the country for graduate work, provided I am accepted. I have options down in Florida for a real job if an audition is lined up and works out. My sister wants me to move to Nebraska for a while. I don't know what I want to do though. I do know that I want to be remembered, I want to leave my mark. When people think of 'the really really good vocalists/actors/performers' I want them to think of me. It's scary to think of being stuck in a dead end job where I could hate it for the rest of my life because in my line of work - it could most certainly happen. But I didn't want to become a teacher to have a 'fallback' job...if I wanted to teach then I would have gone for education. And teaching isn't something that you just 'fallback' onto - I believe it is something that people should WANT to do, and I believe that it is one of the most difficult jobs out there. It's not for me though. I'd kill the kids within the first week...but I completely respect those that want to do it. No, I'm all about the performing. I know that I'm not the best, but I'm working on becoming extrordinary. What's that line from 'American Beauty?'...something like "I want to be anything but ordinary" or "I want to be special" or something. That's how I feel, cause I want to feel like I've somehow made a difference in someone's life. I don't want to be on this earth and have meant nothing...

    Current Mood: here and there
    Current Music: Rent "Seasons of Love"
    Wednesday, October 12th, 2005
    10:19 pm
    Keene, flooded beyond belief!!
    Alright, so this past weekend, Keene was in a state of National Disaster. Yes, you heard me correctly, Keene was completely in a state of disaster. 40% of our 'city' was underwater. Cars were submerged, entire streets were evacuated, the National Guard showed up...people might have been floating down the streets in canoes and boats (and when I say might...i mean definately). It...was complete chaos. But the water has receeded a good amount, though it's been raining quite a bit again today.
    Rain depresses me. I get seasonal depression I think...I need it to be sunny soon cause I've been in a wicked funky mood for a while. Too much stress, too many classes, too many required things to do. Honestly, this past weekend I had two whole days to myself, and it was the best thing that could have ever happened. Of course, one of them happened to be a school day cancelled because of the flood, but it was a nice change of pace - adagio opposed to allegretto. But now it's back to allegretto...and I'm okay with that. I had a little breather.
    The show is going really well, come see it. When everything is put together it is going to be incredible.
    I miss home...I think the only time I can go home this semester is Thanksgiving...this blows.
    What a short, sporadic entry this is...

    Current Mood: drained
    Current Music: Radiohead "High and Dry"
    Sunday, October 2nd, 2005
    9:12 pm
    survey to end alll surveys...i'm not doing another one after this :P
    I. BARE ESSENTIALS

    1.) BIRTHDAY: 02-28-85

    2.) BOXERS / BRIEFS / THONGS / GRANNY PANTIES: i tend to like the boy-short ones, but cute underoos in general is fun :)

    3.) EYES: dark brown

    4.) FIRST THINGS YOU THOUGHT OF THIS MORNING: hmm...i have rehersal in a bit...

    5.) FULL NAME: iris anna yaun

    6.) GLASSES/ CONTACTS: i have both, i wear glasses to read and to drive, but i'm supposed to wear them all the time. too vain to though, i think i look awful with them.

    7.) GOOD LUCK CHARM: er...i think i said once the fact that i'm asian is a good luck charm...other than that i have no idea.

    8.) HAIR STYLE: long and layered with bangs...but i'm growing those out - they're starting to get at that awkward stage.

    9.) HEIGHT: a whole 5'1" tall...i know, impressive :)

    10.) LAST CD BOUGHT: i have no idea, it's been such a long time since i've actually bought a cd...but it might have been jason mraz's new one.

    11.) LAST CD LISTENED TO: charlotte martin "on your shore" invest, it's incredible.

    12.) LAST MOVIE RENTED: it might have been 'ray' over the summer with chrissy...i'm not the biggest movie watcher, but i'm working on it.

    13.) LAST MOVIE SEEN: donnie darko, today, with alex.

    14.) LAST # DIALED: charleen

    15.) LAST TIME YOU CRIED: friday, not saying why.

    16.) LAST TV SHOW WATCHED: no idea, i don't watch tv

    17.) NAMED AFTER ANYONE: well i thought my dad had a crush on a girl named iris back in the day, but apparently i made that story up when i was younger or something, cause my mom doesn't remember that. so....i am thinking no.

    18.) NICKNAMES: i, little korean, korea, little

    19.) ON YOUR DESK: herc's fish tank, my laptop, a clock, my script, some schoolwork, my little box of earrings, my cell phone, a bill, a dollar bill, and strangely, my pitch pipe.

    20.) PIC ON DESKTOP: sheep!! (secretly it's the cross country team...and chrissy)

    21.) SHOE SIZE: 5 to 6

    22.) SIBLINGS: derek, luke, michael, nicki, david, kris, matt, amanda, and jeff. don't ask, i'll just draw you the family tree.

    23.) UNDER YOUR BED: bonnie's bed...tho we are going to switch bunks.

    24.) WHAT’S ON THE WALLS OF YOUR ROOM: right now, nothing cause we are too lazy to buy the sticky stuff from walmart to put up all my posters...i'm working on it though.

    25.) WHEN IS YOUR BEDTIME: whenever i feel like curling up like a kitten and sleeping latttte at night.

    II. RIGHT NOW

    DRINKING: i wish i had something to drink...i'm thirsty.

    LISTENING TO: my own stony silence cause i'm too far away from the cd player to put in a different cd.

    PERSON / PERSONS TALKING TO ONLINE: i'm not talking to neone right now - i'm away!!

    THINKIN’ ABOUT: how my stomach is soooo full of food.

    WEARING ;) : short short red gym shorts, a wifebeater, and a sport jacket. yah...i had dance rehersal today...whatcha wanna make of it?

    III. IN THE LAST 24 HOURS:

    DONE LAUNDRY: made laundry dirty...

    DONE SOMETHING EMBARASSING (IF SO, EXPLAIN): er.....don't i always do stuff that's embarressing? do i really have to relive my awkward self all over again?

    DROVE A CAR: nope, i walk everywhere in keene.

    KILLED SOMEONE WITH YOUR THOUGHTS: nope...i may have seriously maimed someone though.

    KISSED SOMEONE (NOT FAMILY) : yup

    MET SOMEONE NEW: hmm...nope. i don't think so actually.

    SAID "I LOVE YOU" (NOT FAMILY) : nope

    TALKED ON THE PHONE : yup :) girls do tend to talk on their phones...

    WORE JEANS: actually, i haven't, which is surprising. i woke up this morning, showered, and went to dance rehersal. no jeans allowed there...

    IV. EITHER/ OR:

    APPLES OR ORANGES: mmm oranges :) makes me think of soccer halftimes!! and they're just so darn good!!

    BITCHY OR SLUTTY: welllllll...if i really had to choose, i'd choose slutty. as long as you don't sleep with the person, you don't get diseased. and slutty people are often nice...i don't work well with bitchy people.

    BLONDES OR BRUNETTES: brunettes do it better bitches. the end.

    CHOCOLATE OR FLOWERS: hmm...i'm gonna have to go with flowers. i <3 them...white roses might be my favorite.

    CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: chocolate

    COKE OR PEPSI: mountain dew

    GIRLS OR GUYS: i prefer to hang out with men, a little easier to get along with...girls get wicked catty unless i'm really close with them.

    LACE OR SATIN: hmm...for what? underoos? both...but in general...i'd choose lace i think. satin makes me think of cheap 70's porn flicks (not that i watch porn...but it just gives me that idea, you know what i mean?)

    MTV OR VHI: ...vh1

    10.) NIGHT OR DAY: night

    11.) PANTS OR SHORTS: pants, for some reason i just don't like the way shorts look on most women. i do do the short and normal and long length skirts though. depends on my mood.

    12.) PEN OR PENCIL: pen, definately, unless i'm sketching.

    13.) SILVER OR GOLD: definately silver...for some reason i think it looks classier.

    14.) SPRITE OR 7UP: orange soda

    15.) SUMMER OR WINTER: fall :) i would say spring, but all those re-emerging dandilions make me so sick (i'm SO allergic to them) warm during the day, cool at night :)

    16.) TALL OR SHORT: i am short, everyone else is tall.

    V. HAVE YOU EVER:

    1.) BEATEN UP SOMEONE: i gave denise a black eye once by accident...but that's about the extent of me physically hurting someone.

    2.) BEEN BEAT UP: if you count my older brother when we were younger, then yes...

    3.) BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT: nope, knock on wood

    4.) BEEN ON STAGE: i was born to be onstage. the end.

    5.) BEEN SCARED: of what? people? they intimidate me. movies? only if there's creepy stuff. animals? only if they want to rip my face off...otherwise they're pretty cute and cuddly.

    6.) BEEN SO DRUNK YOU BLACKED OUT: yup. and if i blacked out i can't remember enough to tell you what happened that night, can i?

    7.) BEEN STABBED IN THE BACK BY A FRIEND: yup, but i've done it to people too...

    8.) BEEN TO A PRO-BASKETBALL GAME: i went to see the harlem globetrotters...does that count?!

    9.) BEEN TO CAMP: i feel like the answer here is a yes....but the memory might be so horrible that i've somehow blocked my experiences from it from my mind...

    10.) BOUGHT ICE CREAM FROM AN ICE CREAM TRUCK: yup! mmm...ice cream

    11.) CAUGHT A FISH: yup :) little pumkin seeds and sunfish, nothin bigger and i throw them back.

    12.) CLIMBED A TREE: mhmm! definately have done.

    13.) CRIED IN PUBLIC: have you met me? cause if you have, you know the answer to this one.

    14.) CRIED IN SCHOOL: again...if you know me you'll know the answer to this one.

    15.) CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yup, it always hurts to lose someone

    16.) DIDN’T WASH YOUR HAIR FOR A WEEK: um...if you know me and my obsession with being clean, you wouldn't even have to ask this question.

    17.) DONE A DRUG? i don't even like to take tylenol or anything like that...

    18.) DONE SOMETHING YOU REGRET: everyone has stuff they regret, it's a matter of learning from the experience

    19.) EATEN FISH: only the ones that are no longer alive

    20.) EATEN SUSHI: not yet, i have been told that i have to though

    21.) FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: i've snoozed a few in my day, but to hardcore sleep in there? nope.

    22.) FELL ASLEEP WHILE EATING: nope, i probably finished my food first then fell asleep.

    23.) FELL ASLEEP DURING A SCARY MOVIE: haha i hide during scary movies. but i fall asleep during most of them if the plot sucks.

    24.) FLOWN ON A PLANE: well...as i was born in SOUTH KOREA and now live in the UNITED STATES...what do YOU think?!

    25.) GONE ALL NIGHT WITHOUT SLEEP: yup...sucks when you work early the next day.

    26.) GONE SKIING: yup, once. i wasn't so good, but i was a pretty young thing

    27.) GONE SNOWBOARDING: nope, i don't think i am cordinated enough for that

    28.) GONE TO CHURCH: i got confirmed to my church and then i stopped going. ironic, right?

    29.) GONE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY: okay guys...where was i born?

    30.) GOTTEN A CAVITY: yup, i used to have really soft teeth, but they're good now :)

    31.) HAD AN IMAGINARY FRIEND: nope, i like to talk to real people.

    32.) HAD YOU’RE YOUR HOUSE ROLLED: i will tell you once i know what this means...

    33.) MADE PRANK CALLS: i refuse to answer on the grounds that i might incriminate myself...

    34.) MET A CELEBRITY: yup

    35.) MET THE PRESIDENT: nope. i'd probably secretly assassinate him, being part of the korean mafia and all.

    36.) MISSED SCHOOL BECAUSE IT WAS RAINING: me, miss school? what?! what an absurd thought ;)

    37.) PLAYED SOCCER: co-ed rec soccer was the bomb baby

    38.) PUT A BODY PART ON FIRE FOR AMUSEMENT: no, but i watch others do it and it makes me laugh.

    39.) RAN AWAY: er...no

    40.) READ THE BIBLE: i never really got past exodus...is that bad?

    41.) ROLLED SOMEONE’S HOUSE: wtf does this mean?

    42.) SAW A PRO-BASEBALL GAME: gooooooo red sox!!!

    43.) SKIPPED SCHOOL: me, skip school? would i do such a thing?

    44.) SHOPPED @ ABERCROMBIE & FITCH: that's some expensive clothing...

    45.) SHOPPED @ THE GAP: nah, their stuff is a little preppie for me

    46.) SHOPPED AT HOT TOPIC: their stuff fits me weird

    47.) SHOPPED AT OLD NAVY: their stuff is too big for me...

    48.) SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: nope...but i may have snuck back in...

    49.) STOLEN ANYTHING: nope, i like to earn what's mine

    50.) THOUGHT AN ANIMATED CHARACTER WAS HOT: um...no.

    51.) TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: i don't really like to go near them...

    52.) USED YOUR PARENTS’ CREDIT CARD: nope, i do have my own.

    53.) WANTED TO DIE: only when i've been really in a depressed mode, and usually it was my bad self esteem and another person's actions that put me in that place.

    54.) WATCHED DAWSON’S CREEK: that show was crap (don't hurt me masses of preteen girls!!!)

    55.) WATCHED MTV AT 4 IN THE MORNING: usually if i'm up then i'm reading...

    56.) WENT SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN: mmm beach :)

    57.) WET THE BED: nope

    VI. FRIENDS & LIFE:

    ABORTION: i have a lot of 'gray area' opinions on this one...

    DEATH: happens to the best of us

    EATING DISORDERS: much more commen than the average person thinks.

    HOW LONG ARE YOU IN THE SHOWER: depends on my mood and how gross i feel and how much time i have.

    HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE ON YOUR BUDDY LIST: i don't know...i took a shitload of people off the other day cause i was at the 200 person limit.

    LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: true love where EACH person knows the other is 'the one'? i don't think that's possible...i do believe in lust at first sight though.

    TEENAGE SMOKING: cancer in a stick peoples.

    WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS MEAN TO YOU: everything

    WHAT DO YOU THINK THE MEANING OF LIFE IS: making it so that YOU are happy in your own situation, and to be comefortable with yourself.

    10.) WHAT’S THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: knowing i can be my stupid self with the people i care about and know that they aren't judging me...orrrrr performing a really good set onstage.

    11.) WHAT WAS THE WEIRDEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU: getting hit on in the tampon aisle of walmart...yah that was me...running away swiftly.

    12.) WORST FEELING: finding out you were used and that they never really gave a shit about you.

    VII. BY/WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX

    BEEN CHEATED ON: yup. let's leave it at that.

    BEEN HURT: yup. what a silly question, everyone gets hurt by the opposite sex, whether romantically or someone making fun of the other person (like in grade school)...people can be really cruel to each other and not realize.

    BEEN IN LOVE: yup, but i don't wanna talk bout it.

    BEEN IN LUST: haven't we all?

    BEEN REJECTED: mhmm...but i try not to get myself in those situations.

    BEEN USED: yup, don't want to get into it.

    BROKE SOMEONE’S HEART: i don't think so...i may have bruised a few egos though.

    CHEATED ON SOMEONE: nope, i don't believe in cheating and those who do will get what's coming to them.

    CRUSHED ON YOUR TEACHER: er...no.

    10.) FALLEN FOR BEST BRIEND: yah...back in 7th grade :) cute puppy dog crushes.

    11.) HAD CRUSH ON SOMEONE ELSE’S BF/GF: active crush? nope. you can find someone attractive without really crushing on them.

    12.) HAD SEX: la la la...

    13.) HAD SEX WITH TWO PEOPLE IN THE SAME DAY: tho i do joke about it...no, i'm not a wretched whore like that...

    14.) HOOKED UP WITH A FRIEND: define 'hook up'. making out, yes. sleeping with, never. i'm really picky bout who i sleep with.

    15,) IMAGINE YOUR CRUSH NAKED: what a stupid question because if you are a normal person that is attracted to someone else, then yes, you're going to imagine your cush naked.

    16.) KISSED YOUR COUSIN: hahah...nope. i may be from south korea, but i'm not from the SOUTH.

    17.) KISSED TWO PEOPLE IN THE SAME DAY: haha yup. ;) freshman year...i'm glad those days are over.

    18.) LAST PERSON YOU SLOW DANCED WITH: hmm...alex?

    19.) ONLINE RELATIONSHIP: that's...weird. no, i don't do those.

    20.) SKINNY DIPPING: not recently, it's cold.

    21.) SHOWERED: everyday when i wake up, it makes me chipper for the day :)

    22.) TOLD SOMEONE YOU LIKED THEM: yup, and the most recent time i didn't get told all my blonde friends are hotter!!! hurrah!

    23.) USED SOMEONE: nope, that's a wretchedly horrible thing to do.

    24.) WANTED MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, AND DIDN’T: welcome to my life....

    25.) WHAT DO YOU NOTICE FIRST: eyes, smile, and shoulders (i have a weird thing for good shoulders...i like to feel secure and little next to my men)

    VIII. WHO:

    ACTS THE MOST LIKE YOU: bonnie and i think the exact same way about most things (cept maybe food...)

    ARE YOUR CLOSEST RELATIVES: mom, dan, luke, derek, nicki

    CAN MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER: certain people that shall remain nameless :)

    DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON: la la la...

    DO YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH: isn't it a little early to be thinking bout that in our lives? i mean, come on, we're only 20, 21, 22ish. sheesh, live a little.

    HANG OUT WITH THE MOST: bonnie by default, and alex

    HAS A CRUSH ON YOU: hopefully a boy...

    HAS IT EASIER? BOYS OR GIRLS: i think girls do...they get more free beer :)

    HATE THE MOST: i don't really hate people...i can really dislike them...but i DO hate certain people's actions.

    10.) IS THE CRAZIEST PERSON YOU KNOW: all my friends are crazy. we make up the 'outpatient' program at the insane asylum.

    11.) IS THE UGLIEST PERSON YOU KNOW: i try not to judge people by their outward appearence...but i will admit i'm a very shallow person in some ways. so yes, there is a girl that i thought looked HORRIBLY like a young boy. not an ugly boy, just a boy.

    12.) IS YOUR BEST FRIEND: bonnie

    13.) KNOWN THE LONGEST: i think heidi actually...we go back to preschool

    14.) LIVES WITH YOU: bonnie, ashely, and janet

    15.) MAKES YOU ANGRY: people that have no talent and are told that they are 'geniuses' in their field (i.e. music, art, theatre)

    16.) MAKES YOU LAUGH THE MOST: my sister

    17.) MAKES YOU SMILE: my loved ones and a few unloved ones (meaning everyone can make me smile, some just have to work harder at it lol)

    18.) MEANEST PERSON YOU KNOW: hmm...actually secretly i'm probably the meanest person i know with all that shit floating around in my head that i would say if i wasn't such a gosh darn chicken.

    19.) NICEST PERSON: heidi :) i don't know anyone that could hate heidi in their right minds.

    20.) THE WEIRDEST: me, i'm the proverbial music geek in every way possible.

    VX. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON:

    TO MAKE YOU SMILE: ashley

    TO BREAK YOUR HEART: the guy at the stir fry line when he told me there was no fake crab meat

    YOU INSTANT MESSAGED: denise

    YOU KISSED (NOT FAMILY): la la la...

    YOU TALKED TO: alex, he just called

    YOU TEXT MESSAGED: brendan

    YOU THOUGHT ABOUT: my tummy is really full...

    YOU TOUCHED: stupid question.

    TOUCHED HOW: yet another stupid person

    YOU YELLED AT: er...i think my mom on friday.

    WHO TOLD YOU THEY LOVED YOU: my mommy :) we made up right after i threw my temper tantrum.

    X. RANDOMS:

    1.) BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU: so far? working my voice to make it come as far as i have already...

    2.) FUTURE DAUGHTER’S NAME: i don't think about having kids yet

    3.) FUTURE SON’S NAME: okay...guys...prevent babies this early on in life. really now.

    4.) HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE: two.

    5.) IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ONE COLOR WHAT WOULD IT BE: right now i have reddish brown highlights in my hair...

    6.) IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE: vocalist in any avenue (broadway, mine, jazz, classical...bring it ON baby!)

    7.) IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL: half full. life could always get worse than what is handed to you, and someone always has it worse.

    8.) ROLLER COASTERS: SCARY OR EXCITING: fantastical...let's go ride one right now!!

    9.) WHAT WAS THE CRAZIEST THING YOU’VE EVER DONE: i don't know...

    10.) WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: the shitbox.

    11.) EVER HAD BRACES?: yup, wretched braces

    12.) IS THE GRASS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE: i think for most people it's always greener on the other side. you just have to learn to be happy with what you can make for yourself otherwise you'll never be truly happy.

    XI. DO YOU:

    BELIEVE IN HEAVEN AND HELL: yup

    COLOR YOUR HAIR: yup, but didn't i already answer this?

    EVER WISH YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE: typically i only wish i'm someone that can sing much better than i can. like...lea salonga or kristen chenowith or idena menzel.

    GET ALONG WITH THE RENTS: absolutely, we have ups and downs like any normal people, but they've got my back :)

    GET MOTION SICK: not really

    HAVE A BOYFRIEND: la la la...i believe i don't know what the situation is

    HAVE PIERCINGS: just my ears...i'm a little afraid of piercings now cause i think that they'll hurt.

    HAVE TATTOOS: nope, but i always wanted to get a barcode on the bottom of my foot with the words 'made in korea' tatooed right above or below it, cause it's true :)

    LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: i am always will have a shoulder for anyone to cry on...they just might have to stoop a little to reach it.

    10.) LIKE ANYONE: i like lots of people, i'm a people person

    11.) LIKE TO DRIVE: absolutely!!

    12.) OWN A THONG: just three...

    13.) OWN A WEBCAM: nope

    14.) PANIC: only when i actually THINK about all the stuff i need to do for this semester...

    15.) SMOKE: annnnd that's me...being a vocalist for the rest of my life...no smoking allowed ever and plus, i'm allergic to that crap

    16.) TYPE WITH YOUR CORRECT FINGERS ON THE KEYBOARD: yup! yay 5th grade typing class

    17.) WHAT DO YOU DO THAT MAKES YOUR FRIENDS ANGRY: well...for a while it was continue to see my ex...yah.

    18.) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS DO TO MAKE YOU MAD: underestimate me

    XII. DO YOU EVER:

    CUDDLE: am i south korean? yesssssss, i love to cuddle.

    GO ONLINE FOR LONGER THAN EIGHT HOURS AT A TIME: i try not to

    KISS: love it

    SAVE EMAILS: some of the important ones

    SIT BY THE PHONE WAITING FOR A PHONE CALL: yup, but i don't want to get into that one either.

    WEAR COLOGNE: not typically

    WISH YOU WERE A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX: oh helll no

    WISH YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE: what? didn't i already answer this???

    XIII. DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

    DESTINY/ FATE: it can only take you so far...what you do with what path is given to you is your choice

    GHOSTS: meh

    OUIJA BOARDS: i don't think i've ever used one correctly...you see all this cool stuff that happens in the movies and it just never worked for me...

    SANTA CLAUS: thank my older brother for ruining that one for me...

    TOOTH FAIRY: ...er...no.

    UFO’S: apparently there are unidentified funny ostriches running around somewhere

    YOUR FRIENDS: every single one of them

    YOURSELF: when it comes to music, yes, everything else, questionable

    XV. ARE YOU:

    ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING: pollen, especially dandilions, certain nuts, certain fruits. come on...we don't have these silly things in korea!

    ANXIOUS: not really

    A VEGETARIAN: mmm...this tofu tastes like chicken...oh wait, it is chicken...

    COMPULSIVE: about music, yes. shopping, i try to control it. having things be clean, yes. wow, i am a pretty compulsive person, aren't i?

    DEPRESSED: haven't been there in quite a bit

    LEFTY/ RIGHTY/ AMBI: both

    OBSESSIVE: about certain things, yes

    SCHIZOPHRENIC: nope, i don't think so

    XVI. FAVORITES:

    ACTOR: robin williams, tom hanks, morgan freeman

    ACTRESS: judy garland, joan crawford, lea salonga (broadway i know...she's just so incredible) there aren't too many female actresses that impress me from recent years though.

    ADVERTISEMENT: i don't like advertisements

    BAND: too many to list

    BREAKFAST: a cheddar, bacon, onion, pepper, and salsa omelette, complete with home fries and either a bagel w/ cream cheese or rye toast. OR a breakfast sandwhich made with sauteed onions, cheddar, tomato, bacon, eggs cooked over medium and on either rye toast or an english muffin. yah...that was me, being a breakfast chef for 3 years, becoming WICKED picky about how all breakfast food is made.

    CAR: so many to choose from...

    CARTOON CHARACTER: snoopy :) classically wonderful

    COLOR: burnt orange, red...all those bright fall colors...and pink!!

    DRINK: water

    10.) FOODS: buffalo sauce on anything

    10.) HANGOUT: anywhere where i feel like it

    11.) KINDS OF CLOTHES: jeans and a wifebeater with a cute shirt over it as of late...

    12.) LOVE SONG: ones that i've written :) they're mine.

    13.) MAGAZINE: the bible - cosmo. hahaha.

    14.) MOVIE: right now i'd have to say 'big fish' cause i JUST saw it the other day and loved it...but of all time it's gonna have to be 'office space'

    15.) NUMBER: 7 or 54...i don't know why they're so random.

    16.) PERSON TO TALK TO ABOUT ANYTHING: bonnie

    17.) PLACE TO GO ON VACATION: well i just went to nebraska...

    18.) POET: e.e.cummings at times, robert frost at others...and i love jewel's poetry cause it reminds me of my writing style sometimes.

    19.) RESTAURANT: pappagallos in keene. the most amazing eggplant parmersan you will ever eat.

    20.) SCARY MOVIE: ...not a huge fan of the scary movies, i'm not.

    21.) SHAMPOO: pantene pro-v for brunettes. smells SO good...

    22.) SMELLS: savory food (like italian), certain men's body sprays, fresh smelling body sprays for women.

    23.) SNAPPLE: raspberry peach. mmm...

    24.) SOUNDTRACK: miss saigon

    25.) SPORT: baseball or soccer...how bout that

    26.) SPORT TO WATCH: baseball

    27.) SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: anything music.

    28.) TV SHOW: don't really watch a whole lot of tv...

    AND BECAUSE YOU’VE MADE IT THIS FAR:

    ALL TIME FAVORITE SONG: so many good ones to choose from...

    STUFFED ANIMAL: my pooky bear

    CD COVER: surprisingly, christina aigulara's 'stripped'...there's this one pic of her sitting with her back to the camera with her hair cascading down her back that is SO tasteful...and i'm NOT being sarcastic, i love it. i wish i could take a photo like that...

    FLOWER: white roses, sunflowers

    SCENT: green tea by the healing garden...mmm smells fresh and cool

    ANIMAL: kittens

    CEREAL: er...not a huge cereal fan...i like yogurt with strawberries and granola in it though!

    DO YOU HAVE A JOB: yup...

    9.) A CELL PHONE: call my cell bitches. i'll answer if i'm not in class...

    10.) HAVE ANY SPECIAL TALENTS: talents where? how? hmmm...

    11.) CAN YOU ROLL YOUR TONGUE: nope, i'm defective. send me back to korea guys.

    12.) STAND ON YOUR TIP TOES WITHOUT SHOES: yup

    13.) HAVE YOU EVER CRIED TO GET OUT OF TROUBLE: yes....i still give the puppy dog eyes when it will work to my advantage.

    14.) SEEN A SHOOTING STAR: yup, and i wish upon it every time :)


    PHEW!!! that was the longest thing EVER. hopefully i will never do one of these again!!

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Current Music: The Temptations "My Girl"
    Saturday, September 24th, 2005
    11:57 pm
    Sleepy...
    Alright, I'm sucking at this game. But I'm okay with it, a little mystery and intrigue will keep you guys coming back, right? Or...maybe not.

    Anywho, I've been on the constant go, I haven't even gotten to do my obligitory nap every afternoon that I was almost able to do last year. Classes keep me busy as does work, and this schedule for the musical is crazy! I have dance rehersal at 11:30 to 2 tomorrow, then blocking rehersal at 7 to probably midnight. It's so much fun though, I had almost forgotten what it was like to be onstage as a character and not myself, if that made any sense.

    So yah...come see my musical, come see my recital (October 24th), call, visit me at work, I'll try to do the same for you :) Other than that, I hope that everyone's year is going relatively smoothly. I'll try to get some calls out to people I haven't talked to in a bit SOON...I miss my home crew.

    Current Mood: sleepy
    Current Music: Justin Timberlake "Senorita"
    Thursday, September 15th, 2005
    9:34 am
    drop dead, construction workers...
    Alright, normally I'm a little more on the ball with this thing. Apparently that's not going to be so this year. I don't think any of us have had any time to breathe. I kinda like it that way though :)

    Darby's class makes me want to kill myself. The material is really interesting (Western Music before 1750....well it's interesting to me at least) but I spent the last two weeks of classes writing a paper for him, a paper that while everyone else went to get it checked over by him, he totally rejected it and told them to write it over. Yah...that's not scary at all. Dun dun dun...Piano lessons are going to be wicked cool. Voice lessons have gone fantastic so far, he gave me four new books and was like "learn 3 or 4 pieces from each of them and then we'll pick and choose" Err...that's alot of music but whatever, it's good stuff. Geology bores me to tears, but so far I'm doing really well in it. Choir is choir, workshop is workshop, conducting is difficult cause I'm rhythmically challenged, and vocal pedagogy is like a freaking anatanomy class right now. At least I know it gets better...Jenny took it before and was like "yah it gets better" lol. Work is work, people need to wise up and not take 2349523947823985725 minutes to decide what they want to eat but other than that easy money. The musical is going really well, it should be a really good show. Come see us!!

    On another note...if that stupid construction does not stop SOON I may have to go and kill someone. SEVEN IN THE MORNING is NOT A GOOD TIME TO START MACHINERY. If this request/demand that it ceases immediately is met, no one gets to face the Korean wrath. Thank you.

    Current Mood: relaxed
    Current Music: Howie Day "Morning After"
    Sunday, September 4th, 2005
    9:44 pm
    Hurrahhhhh!!!!!
    I got cast in the school musical!! (Urinetown) There were sixty people who auditioned, they took nine girls and nine guys. Unbelievably, I was up for a supporting lead. I didn't get it, but that's okay :) The girl that got it (Jill) is going to be spectacular!! I can't wait to start rehersals. :D Come see my show. It's going to be fuck-tabulous (thanks mike, for that freakin awesome word)

    Current Mood: ecstatic
    Current Music: Urinetown "Run freedom, Run!!!"
    Wednesday, August 31st, 2005
    11:09 am
    "everytime it rains i know it's good to be alive"
    So chicos y chicas, I'm back in Keene. Thank God. It's verrrrry nice to be back in a place where I can see people and have a 'normal' schedule once again. I'm in the apartments oncampus, so that means that you guys should come and knock on my door ("you can ring my bellll, ring my bell!")

    Classes...are going to be really tough this semester. My schedule is as follows:

    Monday/Wednesdays: Tuesday/Thursday
    Conducting I Geology
    Music Workshop Western Music Before 1750
    Vocal Pedagogy Chamber Singers

    I also have to add in piano lessons, voice lessons, and a coaching session. So far, no Friday classes which is fantastical, but I told work that I wanted to work Friday and Saturday mornings. I found out that the acapella group thing John and I were putting together weren't needed for the cow auction thing (Dave wanted Bradley people that everyone knew really well, and I'm in New Hampshire which makes it hard to get back for rehersals) so that means I don't have to come back every weekend for the first six weeks or so. Yay for saving hundreds in gas money. Yah...gas prices are a littttttle obscene. So because I don't have to go back every weekend, I've decided to audition for the school musical. I kinda don't really want a big role just because my courseload is pretty heavy; I just want to get back onstage cause I haven't been onstage since JC last summer. So we'll see about that one...

    Otherwise, I'm just getting resettled over here. Three of my classes are going to have TONS of busywork, which is annoying, but at least two of them have interesting busywork. And throughout I'm preparing for my junior recital. It's gonna be a good one...Oh yah I bought a new fishtank for Hercules...he loves it so much. He's happily swimming around :) Now all I need to do is smuggle a kitten named "Cucumber" in...

    Good luck to everyone during their first week back!!

    Current Mood: smiles, even with the rain!
    Current Music: Charlotte Martin "Everytime it Rains"
    Thursday, August 25th, 2005
    12:34 pm
    yet another cool survey....
    * Full name: Iris Anna Yaun
    * Birthday: 2/28/85
    * Eyes: Dark Brown
    * Hair: Dark Brown
    * Height: 5’1”
    * Shoe Size: 5 1/2 or 6, depending on the brand
    * Who lives with you: Mom, Dad, Luke (for people) Tucker, Sassy, Cricket, and Chloe (for animals) Oh yah, and Hercules, my ever cool betta fish!
    * When is your bedtime? Typically after one or two in the morning

    ------------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
    * Flown on a plane: Yup, on the way over to the states from South Korea, to florida once, to Texas, and most recently, to Nebraska. I haven't gotten sick till this last plane ride though.
    * Ever been so drunk you blackout: Yes...was a secret alcoholic in my freshman year.
    * Missed school because it was raining: Rain- no. Snow- most definitely
    * Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: Yeah, but the last time I did that one unprovoked, I got told that I wasn't hot like my hot blonde friends. Needless to say, I haven't really done that one in a while.
    * Put a body part on fire for amusement: Well I do that 'set the sock fuzz on fire' thing...eli showed me how to do it. does that count?
    * Had a crush on a friends girlfriend/boyfriend: i've found them attractive...but not an active crush where i try to steal them away or anything. i think that's wrong.
    * Been hurt emotionally: absolutely, i'm unbelievelably sensitive
    * Had an imaginary friend: not to my knowledge. i had more the 'stuffed animal' friends
    * Wanted to hook up with a friend: mmmm....yes.
    * Ever thought an animated character was hot?: and...there's no point in drooling over someone you can't hook up with....so no.
    * Been on stage: yup! i love the stage and (hopefully!) it loves me back!
    * Cut your hair: only when i'm emotionally distressed...or its been a super long time since I've cut it.
    * Had crush on a teacher?: well, i've found a couple teachers attractive, but i've never had an active real crush on them...
    * Shampoo: pantene pro v for brunettes. smells yummy!
    * Fav Color: burnt orange or red
    * Day/Night: dusk.
    * Summer/Winter: fall!
    * Lace or Satin: Satin
    * Fave Cartoon Character: um...snoopy!
    * Fave Food: mmm...buffalo chicken pizza!!
    * Fave Advertisement: i got nothin for this one.
    * Fave Drink: water with lemon!
    * Person/persons talking to online: my computer does not have aol instant messanger on it (it's the big family computer - my laptop is in my room)

    * Fave sport: baseball, soccer
    * Fave Car: classic mustangs!

    -----------------RIGHT NOW------------------
    * Wearing: pink shirt, white tank underneath, jeans w/ black belt and no shoes!
    * Drinking: nothin right now
    * Thinkin bout: the stuff i should be packing, but somehow am not.
    * Listening to: music i'm composing in my head.

    ---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
    * Cried: verge of tears when i found out some horrible news
    * Worn jeans: i live in jeans...or skirts!
    * Met someone new online: see the 'are you talking to someone online' question.
    * Done laundry: ehhh stop reminding me of stuff i need to do!
    * Drove a car: yup, drove to griswald, back to woodstock, to my dad's, i was everywhere yesterday.
    * Talked on the phone: Yup. i <3 my phone.
    * Kissed someone (Not Family): Nope
    * Said "I love you"(Not Family): Nope

    ---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------
    * Yourself: depending on the situation. music, yes. everything else is a maybe.
    * Your friends: absolutely. it's hard to gain my trust (harder now...) but once you've got it, you're pretty much in.
    * Santa Clause: he was cool till my older brother ruined the illusion for me.
    * Tooth Fairy: Nope
    * Destiny/Fate: absolutely
    * Angels: yes
    * Ghosts: Yes
    * UFO's: Undecided

    --------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
    * Do you ever wish you had another name? yes. being one of the only asians can be pretty conspicuous, and having an unusual name kinda adds to it.
    * Do you like anyone? like like? i'm playin the field. friends, i like most everyone!!
    * Which one of your friends acts the most like you? bonnie. her and i think pretty much the same way.
    * Who have you known the longest of your friends: heidi, preschoolers from village green preschool for life!! (wait...we're in college now)
    * Are you close to any family members?: yes, i try to be.
    * Who's the weirdest?: oh goodness...i don't want to insult anyone.
    * Who do you hang out with the most? at school and at home - bonnie. but throw in denise and charlene too, nicole and steph. i've seen them quite a bit this summer too.
    * What's the best feeling in the world: feeling like i've accomplished something spectacular that helps someone else
    * Worst Feeling: feeling as though no one wants me around at all, or finding out that you were used.

    HAVE YOU EVER
    1. Kissed your cousin: I am not from the south.
    2. Ran away: not really...
    3. Pictured your crush naked: hmm...isn't that kind of a 'duhh' question? it's like 'i have a crush on you...so i think about you naked'...right? unless the person is perhaps like eight, then they shouldn't be thinking about things like that!
    4. skipped school: ahhh...the wonderfulness of being a semi decent actress. "i'm sick.'
    5. Broken someone's heart: yes...but i don't want to get into that story.
    6. Been in love: thought i was, but the entire relationship turned out to be based on a lie, so i guess you can't really call it love now, right?
    7. Cried when someone died: Yeah
    8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: yah, but in high school i did that on purpose (i.e. liked guys that were YEARS older)
    10. Done something embarrassing: everyday of my life.
    11. Done a drug: nope. i don't even like to take asperin.
    12. Cried in school: yup. we don't need to go there either.

    WHICH IS BETTER:

    13. Coke or Pepsi: water
    14. Sprite or 7Up?: Water
    15. Girls or Guys: guys are less complicated than girls are, and they're less bitchy. so guys.
    18. Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes do it better, bitches!
    19. Bitchy or Slutty: i reject both.
    20. Tall or Short: well, as everyone is pretty much taller than me...tall!
    21. Pants or Shorts: pants, tho i do love a good skirt.
    22. Night or Day: i'm kind of a night owl...

    WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
    23. What do you notice first: eyes, smile, shoulders (weird, i know)
    24. Last person you slow danced with: um...actually i think it might have been adam...
    26. Showered: yup
    27. Stepped outside: outside where? what? i don't get this one...
    28. Had Sex: well...for all the adults out there. NO of course not! I'm a complete angel!! for everyone else, it's your guess.

    RANDOMS
    30. Your Good Luck Charm: this is going to sound wicked ghetto, but i'm going to say my asianness. it's gotta help me out somewhere, right?
    31. Person You Hate Most: hating someone takes too much energy, but i could tell you a few people i dislike if you wanted...
    32. Best Thing That Has Happened: realizing that there are actually people who cared about what happens to me OR hitting a completely etheral high G for 12 beats in competition...yah i'm a dork.
    33. On your desk: laptop, cup full of pens and pencils, lamp, sheet music, tuner, metronome...yah i'm a music geek, what do you want!?
    34. Picture on your desktop: sheep!!
    35. Color: burnt orange! or red
    38. Cars: i <3 my mazda protogee!!
    39. Ice Cream: ben & jerry's peanut butter cup
    40. Season: fall
    41. Breakfast Food: bacon, home fries

    WHO
    42. Makes you laugh the most: bonnie
    43. Makes you smile: most people
    44. Can make you feel better: bonnie, heidi, patrick, sam, vicki, nicole, steph, denise, charlene...there are more here too...
    45. Has A Crush On You: i think i crushed his male ego...so i'd rather not say.
    46. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: not really.
    47. Who Has it easier? we each have our own miseries...

    DO YOU EVER
    49. Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call all night: if i'm expecting a call, yes. otherwise, no, the phone stays in the room.
    50. Save MSN conversations: no cause it takes up space on my computer.
    51. Save E-mails: religiously.
    52. Forward secret E-mails: No
    53. Wish you were someone else: yah, but typically it's someone who i don't know...like lea salonga or idena menzel or someone that has a fabulous voice.
    54. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: hell no. girls kick way more ass than guys do!
    55. Wear cologne: not really.
    56. Kiss: yup! love to do that
    57. Cuddle: yup! love to do that one too!
    58. Go online for longer than eight hours at a time: i'm always online at school ,but i don't think i've ever just sat there online for eight hours straight. i've got classes, and other shit to do.

    HAVE YOU EVER
    59. Fallen for your best friend?: yah
    60. Made out with JUST a friend?: mhmm
    61. Kissed two people in the same day?: yup, i think i had the making out factor up to 3 people once...oh freshman year. never going back.
    62 Had sex with two different people in the same day?: absolutely not!
    63. Been rejected: Yeah
    64. Been in love?: thought i was...
    65. Been in lust?: mhmm
    66. Used someone?: No
    67. Been used?: absolutely.
    68. Cheated on someone?: No. I don't believe in cheating
    69. Been cheated on?: Yes, found out in probably the shittiest way ever, and oh wait, was still messing around with the guy when he got a new gf too. he didn't really tell me bout her, either...
    70. Been kissed?: Yeah
    71. Done something you regret?: yes, i regret some things, but my actions have made me who i am today.

    WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
    72. You touched?: my dad.
    73. You talked to: luke
    75. You instant messaged?: mike
    76. You kissed (Not Family): jason
    77. You yelled at?: adam
    78. You thought about?: my roommates
    79. Who text messaged you?: adam
    80. Who broke your heart?: adam
    81. Who told you they loved you?: i've never been loved for the person i am, for what makes me me, at least in a romantic sense, so the answer here would be no one.

    DO YOU...
    82. Color your hair? red highlights right now
    83. Have tattoos?: nope
    84. Have piercings?: ears, tho i'm running a bet with my sister that in a year i'll get my belly button done too
    85. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: nope
    86. Own a webcam?: Nope
    87. Own a thong?: Yeah
    88. Ever get off the damn computer?: yup
    90. Habla espanol: hablo espanol un pocito.
    91. Quack: like a duck?? no.

    HAVE YOU / DO YOU / ARE YOU...
    92. Stolen anything?: nope. i'm an honest girl
    93. Smoke?: nope, i'm a vocalist.
    94. Schizophrenic?: well...no.
    95. Obsessive?: obsessive compulsive about certain things, yes
    96. Compulsive?: see above answer
    97. Obsessive compulsive?: see above answer.
    98. Panic?: only if the situation is REALLY bad
    99. Anxiety?: again, only if the situation is REALLY bad
    100. Depressed? i can get in depressed modes...
    101. Emo?: nope.

    Current Mood: knowing i need to go pack...
    Current Music: Me "Sorry"
    Monday, August 22nd, 2005
    10:00 pm
    Is it Sunday yet???
    I can't wait to get back up to New Hampshire.

    Things to do this week: See Denise once more, See Charlene once more, go to that party thing at Nicole's, pack, pack some more stuff, oh wait...pack some more...See Vicki, pack some more stuff that I'll probably forget...give two lessons, practice my music, maybe do a little more recording...

    This week will probably go by VERY slowly because I can't wait to be back in New Hampshire.

    And the Sims 2 rocks my world. I've recently reloaded it onto my laptop and Holy God! It's amazing. I'm currently in the middle of two different families. I should make a house of people I know and don't like and kill them in the pool...or set them on fire...or get them into fights...or starve them...I'm totally kidding by the way.

    The Sims 2 would rock my world even more if I was in New Hampshire though...

    Are we seeing a trend anywhere, anyone?

    Oh yah, and I am going to need some money. Anyone in need of a good Asian stripper?

    Just kidding guys. I only do that in New Hampshire ;)

    Current Mood: stilll bored...
    Current Music: Cake "Short Skirt and a Lonnng Jacket"
    9:30 pm
    tired, achey, bored, and yah.....tired
    1. First thing you did this morning?:
    Hit the snooze button, I had an appointment at 7:30 a.m. that I wasn't quite ready to get up for.


    2. Last thing you ate?:
    Slice of pizza - Digourno's


    3. Is your cell phone a piece of crap?:
    I <3 my phone. The end.


    4. What's the thing you look forward to most in the next 6 months?:
    Performing in my jr. recital :) Of course, that's a little more than six months...but it's the single thing that I'm really looking forward to this year!! (yes, that would be me, being a massive music dork. yay performance majors)


    5. What's annoying you right now?:
    my tummy - pizza...not such a great idea.


    6. What's the last movie you watched?:
    um........tried to watch 'lost in translation' with jason...but that didn't work out so well. No idea for anything before that though. NOT a huge movie watcher.


    7. Do you believe in long distance relationships?:
    I do, but both people need to put forth the effort to make it work. Otherwise, it disintigrates...oh yah, and lying does not help the situation either.


    8. What's worse...being in love with someone you can't have or pretending to love someone you don't?:
    Pretending to love someone you don't. Being in love with someone you can't have sucks, because you're unhappy and upset with the situation, but pretending to love someone you don't is much worse because you're lying to yourself and to the other person. Personally, I'd rather be in pain myself than put another person through such pain. It's dishonest and selfish to put yourself first in these types of situations.


    9. Is there someone you miss so much it makes you scream!
    Currently, no.


    11. If you could put together a concert of 5 bands or artists, who would you choose?
    Howie Day, Jason Mraz, Charlotte Martin, The Beatles (hey, it can be anyone!), and old school No Doubt stuff. A bit of this and that. Oh! can I throw Renee Fleming in there too? (classical soprano...yah I'm a weirdo)


    12. Lyric that sums up your love life?:
    Currently, it'd be something of mine:
    "a bit of patience won't somehow turn this around cause it seems that I've found a bit of distraction. And I'm sorry if you found me a bit too complicated but it seems you've made me jaded with all your abstractions. So I'm sorry, but you're the one who cheated, sorry, i wasn't what you needed, sorry i couldn't be perfect but I didn't deserve this. oh no...sorry that i could be so faithful, sorry, that you were so ungrateful, sorry i gave everything but we broke all the strings, so WHAT AM I SORRY FOR?"
    A work in progress...called "Sorry"

    of someone else's stuff...jason mraz
    "Go make your next choice be your best choice
    And if you're looking for a boy with a voice, well baby I'm single
    Are you in the mood for some dude, are you in the mood to be subdued
    Or would you rather just mingle?
    Let's get set then to go then and let us jet set we'll be like the Jetsons
    You can be Jane my wife. Should I marry Jane tonight?
    I would if I could. I'd do most anything spontaneously.
    Or we can keep chilling like ice cream filling
    We can cool in the gang if you'd rather hang
    Ain't no thing. I can be lugubrious with you.
    I got no ifs ands ors no wits or whats about it
    But this place is getting crowded and my house is two blocks away
    Or maybe closer
    I would if I could. I'd do most anything spontaneously.
    You know I would, if I could. I'll do anything spontaneously.
    If you could be nimble, you'd have it simple just like me.
    So go on and try it, do not deny yourself your freedom.
    So step on up to the plate get a date with mraz
    See you better act fast because supplies they never
    Now did you know this is limited time offer
    So go make your mind up before our times up
    You better start winding it up because the party's almost over
    (and if you should know girl, go a little bit lower now)
    see how I would, if I could. I'd do most anything spontaneously.
    You know I would, and I can prove it. I'll do anything spontaneously."


    13. What's the one thing you wish you could do better?
    Be less intimidated by really self-assured people. They make me really nervous.


    14. If you could be anywhere this second, where would it be?
    In a recording studio...or onstage. Yah, again, I'm a dork.


    15. What's your most vivid memory from 6th grade?
    Being distinctly uncomefortable with myself in my body, extremely intimidated by all the other, pretty girls. And of course, finding my escape in music.


    16. Latest addiction?
    I don't really have any new addictions...my standbys are music, and the sims, reading, finding people i <3 to hang with and take care of.


    17. Have you ever had the slight urge to kill someone?
    yes. have i actually killed someone....no. I put them in holes. and throw rocks at them.


    18. How many people would you say you were interested in at once?
    Well, I'm kind of a one guy girl if it's being truley interested in someone. Being attracted to someone and dating lots of people is not the same as being truley interested in someone.


    19. Who are you in love with?:
    I'm not in love with anyone at the moment, nor do I plan on falling in love anytime in the near future. I predict looooots of dating for me though.


    20. Do you think someone thinks about you daily?:
    Nope, I don't think I'm that memorable.


    21. Are you self confident?:
    In certain areas of my life, absolutely. That would be music and knowing how to be a good friend to someone. In most other areas of my life, no, I fall pitiously short of my own ezpectations.


    22. What would you change about yourself?
    Personality wise - I would make myself less insecure about how others perceive me.
    Looks wise - I would not have chosen to make myself Asian in this country. Especially in the field that I'm going into. Limited roles.


    23. What book are you reading right now?:
    I've read through my entire bookshelves like four times this summer cause I'm too lazy to go to the library (actually, I just didn't have time). But I just read Wicked earlier today, and all the harry potter books. (pretty lazy day of not really doing anything, which i haven't had to have in over a month or so)


    24. How many people do you know with the same name as yours?
    No one. Hurrah!


    25. What was the last thing you spilled?
    Um....surprisingly it's been a while since I've spilled something.

    Current Mood: bored
    Current Music: Howie Day "Buzzing"
    Saturday, August 20th, 2005
    11:37 pm
    done!
    Today...marks the last day of work. It went by fantastically fast. They bought me dinner, gave me a card, and had a secret cake party for me :) Sooo sweet. I will miss them.

    Met Steph for brunch this morning. That was really nice, as I've never gotten to talk to her one on one before. It was funny cause my voice student called her in the middle of brunch!

    Sorry this is so disjointed, it's late and I'm a lil tired...

    'Everyone has a choice; there's always a moment of "can I do this, or Should I do this?' - or however the hell they say it in "closer" - on cheating.

    Current Mood: allll over the place
    Current Music: Jewel "Who Will Save Your Soul?"
    Tuesday, August 16th, 2005
    2:10 pm
    a bit of this and that...
    sweet and bitter, yes bittersweet broken bandaids can't fix what we keep.
    shadow chaser i'll follow you in your sadness you do wallow
    will you silence yourself, will your silence still melt
    the pattern of pieces of you and of me, of you and of me.
    place the commen, no commenplace the cruelty creeps in lieu
    of silver stars of laughter to pen a brand new chapter
    can you silence your sins, will your silence melt the hinges
    that held yourself together, that held our hands together.
    shatter the chains that choke your hands hold
    on the placemat of certainty you thought you did know.
    lift up your anghst and covert your beauty within
    will you follow, will you let me begin once again
    if sweet and bitter bandaids could fix what i need.

    poetry or song? u decide...i'm not sure yet.

    Current Mood: cold
    Current Music: Barenaked Ladies "Call and Answer"
    Monday, August 15th, 2005
    12:42 pm
    dreary morning...
    So...I was just curious. Why is it that every guy I've dated, or have started to date, sees nothing but my face?

    I'm sorry, I'm slightly annoyed.

    Actually, more than slightly annoyed.

    I have a personality too, dammit.

    Current Mood: annoyed
    Current Music: Howie Day "Madrigals"
    Sunday, August 14th, 2005
    9:25 pm
    feeling slightly queasy...
    Alright, since I haven't really put a real post up here in a few weeks, I suppose now is the time to do so as I actually have a bunch of free time. Kind of, anyways. It's been a crazy summer of stuff to do. Alright, let's backtrack...

    I went to Nebraska a couple of weeks ago to visit my sister and her family. Seriously, my sister is the best. I've decided that I'm never having kids though. Nicki has three children, two stepchildren, and provides daycare for others. Let's just say that...one screaming child who does not want to take a nap equals many more screaming children not wanting to take naps. My ears will never be the same. Don't get me wrong, I love kids. But I'd rather babysit at this point in my life (and perhaps for the rest of it) and give the kids BACK to their parents at the end of the day. We went to the zoo out there...I can honestly say that I've never been to a more amazing zoo in my entire life. The penguins were fantastical (and made me think of Leanne and her obsession hehe) I also happened to accidently kick over a kid who was less than two years old (he ran into my leg and rickasheyed off, screaming his poor little head off.) I ate WAY too much food but my family has this weird habit of trying to feed everyone obscene amounts of food (Remember Christmas, anyone?) I also met all of Nicki and David's friends who proceeded to tell me that they would personally pay for my ticket to be changed so I could stay longer. All in all, a fantastical time was had out in Nebraska. It was horribly sad coming home. However, I'm not such a fan of flying on airplanes. I found out that I get pretty nauseous.
    When I got back from Nebraska I drove up to New Hampshire for a couple of days. It was super seeing Bonnie and Nick and Dorrie and Heath. Nick's dog Jake is so cute!! (Sadly, he loves Nick more than Bonnie...I wonder how that happened?) I went out a couple nights, met some more interesting fellows, and didn't get a whole lotta sleep. It was a good trip and made me miss being in Keene.

    When I got back it was back to work, only I was on first shift for a week. I had to (surprisingly) train a new employee. I got rather frusterated there because I have this THING where I get really annoyed if I have to explain something more than 15 million times to someone, in 15 million ways. But she's learning and this coming week I'm back on second shift for my last week.

    Last night I went to Usher at the Bradley. Not Usher the R&B singer lol...ushering people in. Going "Please sit anywhere you like, ma'am. Except the balcony or other people's laps." Hehe. The play was very well done, but really rather sad. Nicole should have worn the green band on her watch (it matched the necklace...hem hem. I'm all about the matching) but she did a really good job with her role. I know she wasn't happy with how it came out though...but I think it was a pretty difficult role to get really in depth to. Went to the Courthouse with Nicole, Steph, and Jen afterwards. It was awesome seeing Steph and Nicole, it's been a while since I've gotten to talk to them. Unfortunately Steph didn't feel great the entire night and left early with Jen, who is a very funny girl. A good night, and we left with the maybe of swimming in the morning. However...Nicole and I both overslept. She called me around one and I probably sounded like death cause I was snoozing. I think I've probably caught a slight cold from running around so much with next to no sleep. How did I do everything I did last summer? (Working six ten hour days a week, being involved in a show, and having a boyfriend at the time)

    I do have to say, I'm processing the antics of certain people. My last entry had to do with it, and the comment I left has "mysteriously" disappeared. But something I've learned from the situation is - Shit happens. People aren't always as trustworthy as you hope they are. People can lie and make you feel like shit about yourself. People can say stuff that completely insults someone that they were once close to and not realize it. People can lie blatently to your face. People can cheat. People can take you for granted and not appreciate you. People can keep making excuses for themselves and others to make themselves seem like they themselves are in the clear. People...are people. But it doesn't mean that the person is a bad person. It just means that's how that person dealt with one situation. I don't really feel the blinding anger that I used to about my ex. Well, let me revise that. I don't feel the blinding anger towards HIM, but I do still at some of his actions. I'm sad, and I'm hurt about how both he and I handled the situation, but it's like, why should I stress out anymore? I lost someone that I could talk to, where we both understood each other, and that's sad. We're not a part of each other's lives anymore, but it's for the better. We stressed each other out, he made me cry, I've said some nasty things, he made some choices that weren't so smart, but in the end I couldn't trust him. And how can there be even a friendship if there's no trust? Stupid paradoxal, philosophical, thinking out loud on my journal. But I'm okay with posting this one - if I didn't want others to know my thoughts, I wouldn't put them up here.

    When you dream, dream sweet...

    "Would you like the chance to shatter heaven? Would you like to be the one who pulls the sky down just for me? Round and round and round we run, and pretend the sun is all you need. Ive never known a moment to be frozen. Youre making deals with minutes that will slip away, just slip away. So starve the garden stop the rain-Winter settles on my petals anywaysanyways. Is your armor thin again. Do I want to wear it down? Am I worthy to come in? Do you want to be found? Nothing into something into nothing. Every rule you break means theres no turning back, no looking back. The words that I could never say - The clutter that is in your way is nothing new..nothing new... Wandering between the girl you search for and the one you leave. And I cannot wait...Chasing you around the room is tempting. So near and far away from meaning anything to you-But just remember if youre jumping, I would start my jump off. Running after you...Is your armor thin again? Do I want to wear it down? Am I worthy to come in? Do you want to be found? Is your armor thin again? Do I want to wear it down? Am I worthy to come in? Am I worthy to come in? Am I worthy to come in? Do you want to be found? Do you want to be found? " charlotte martin

    Current Mood: queasy
    Current Music: Charlotte Martin "Your Armor"
    Tuesday, August 9th, 2005
    5:13 pm
    ...
    It's so not worth it to be angry...too much energy expended where I don't really care anymore.

    Current Mood: good
    Current Music: Baha Men "Who let the Dogs Out?!"
    4:28 pm
    Arrrrrghhhhh....
    I am so angry right now.

    So, so angry.

    So, so, so very angry.

    Current Mood: Fuck You
    Current Music: My anger is my music right now...
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